Dress dreams

Back on it!

I've had 2 days of eating a lot healthier than what i normally do and i've danced for ages on just dance 1 & 2. Im super determined to lose weight for a friends wedding in August. I have a dress i bought ages ago and its kinda clingy on me at the moment. So i've decided to lose the weight to be able to wear the dress WITHOUT a shrug and be confident in it. And so the photo below is what i look like in it now...



I want to lose at least a stone! or more please :) I need to head back to the gym.. gym is good.. well it ain't its torture but it'll be good in the end.

The past and the future

'To prevent your past from defining our future, we need to put it where it belongs - and that is behind you, a memory with no power to change your future. The past might have led you to where you are now, but it cannot hold you back unless you let it do so..'

This quote is extremely true. I let so many things in my past affect how i live my life now.. Im quiet because of my past, i never used to like who i am because of my past and i've let it influence me too much in what i do and want to do, i've taken an emotional beating in the past and its not been great. I've not been trying to achieve the things i want to achieve and it has been getting me down recently. I want so much from life, different experiences, life events and i want to love me, love who i am, how i look and what i do. Why cant i experience what everyone else experiences? I don't want to miss out, i only get one life and it needs to be made into what i want it to be. My lack of confidence is doing this to me and i need to find a way to grab a lot more confidence for myself.

I know i keep trying to find an easy way to become who i want to be but its not getting me far, i have to commit to do things i want to achieve in life and stick to them. I don't want myself to miss out on events in life that other people have and i'll never have.

I can't help but think this goes all the way back to me disliking the person i was - yeah i'm nice, i'm lovely, people like me but really i have not much confidence and never really think of doing the things i want to do. I think i spent too many years pleasing everyone else but myself - i now want to find the motivation to change things, have things i want happen to me, be the person i want to be. It's important to live a life full of memories and let the things happen you'll never forget.

..and so were getting towards the end of 2010 even though 2010 has been pretty cool, i've travelled to Italy, took on a new career, been extremely happy and looking for somewhere for us to live.. i believe life from now onwards will be different. My confidence WILL grow. Im going to do things i want to do. Hopefully experience things other people have already achieved and are so happy about. i want to see what life has to offer and i want to experience it all. Need to be positive about everything, grab chances, all the life experiences everyone goes through and opportunities while i can. I don't want to miss out on one thing that life can offer me.. After all i deserve it.. don't i? :)

Id like to take this chance just to say Happy Christmas and New Year everyone and hope you all get what you wish for!

Major change starts today

FREAK OUT!!

Okay... and breath... I 'may' of slipped a little. I mean by 'a little' a LOT! I got weighed today by my weight loss management leader and i've put on 6lb.. this is NOT what i was expecting! So i started University and apparently if you're training to be a nurse you sit on your backside for the first 3 months watching lectures and video clips. Plus you get endless amounts of breaks and dinner in which you always manage to get hot chocolate because thats what everyone else is doing and im a sheep and follow them too. So this must stop..

I tried to cook pasta with tuna and sweetcorn.. then i added mayonaise cos i obviously cant live without that one! Although i did find out today that the poundland shop sells mayonaise for £1 and crisps, chocolate, cookies, pasta sauce and soup. All for £1 each! how awesome is that! So i'll be going back there for some stuff.

The whole shock of putting 6lb on made me want to cry but best thing i can do is jump back on the wagon, carry on with this weightloss ride and hope i can get to losing my next 10%! Yes im following weightwatchers and yes im no longer a member of them but i think following something like this will kick my ass back into gear. Im also going to go for walks (even though its freezing) but i believe this may help me to loose weight slowly. Better slow then none!

I feel like ive let myself down, and this is a horrible thing to feel. So from now on, hopefully i'll have happy posts, be able to balance uni, gym, food and life all on one big plate and not get any bigger in the process :)

Birthday week!

Its my birthday in 6days! how awesome, cant wait! Going out in Lincoln for it, only annoying thing is my brother bought me a dress off ASOS and its too big :( that ruined my birthday outfit plans! Bit of a bugger that was!

I weighed myself on wii fit today and ive put on 2lb so now im back to *st 7lb... not happy! BOOOOO! Its my own fault though, i keep eating chocolate and bad things and i really shouldnt do. I moan im big then i eat bad things cos of it then feel worse afterwards! Vicious circle im thinking :( I get weighed by my nutritionist later! Not looking forward to it at all cos i feel worse bout myself already.. meh!

Had my haircut the other day its nice, im gonna start looking after my hair. I felt all pampered it was awesome! they give out head massages and back massages n stuff while washing hair, its strange but really awesome too.

I start my nursing course a week today! That'll be very weird! Im excited but then again proper scared about it all. It'll be weird, only a week today! Bugger! Better get this eating habit under control! x

Back From Rome!

Rome was amazing! I'm not even kidding. It was so beautiful and gorgeous... lots of graffiti everywhere but apart from that the architecture was so beautiful! So after the whole im scared to fly we touched down in Rome and the confusion started. I wish id learnt Italian before i buggered off to Rome lol. Anyway we found the hotel near the Vatican City and it was really nice. Our own little apartment in the middle of Rome, i felt very posh.


We ended up going around Castel S'angelo and then we walked up to St Peters Basilica too. This trip involved a hell of a lot of walking!! So i wouldnt be suprised if i ended up losing weight. I managed to get numerous amounts of blisters just from walking around for a few days so im guessing i may drop a few lb too! Well i can hope so anyway!

We saw a lot of the sights, Vatican City including St Peters Basilica, Sistine Chapel and Vatican Museum. We even went to climb the top tower until my blisters caused mayhem and the height got a bit too much! Least i can say ive been on top of that building.

Walked to the Colosseum, Trevi fountain, The Pantheon, The Forum and Palatine Hill. So lots of walking, lots of steps, lots of hills and lots of me being knackered, sweaty and tanned! But overall its been amazing.

I had nice icecream too and we found this cool little restaurant on the end of our street. It was quaint, very italian with all the locals going there and the price was fab too. I tried the pasta, ravioli and pizzas. Had chocolate truffle too and that was gorgeous! I think i could quite possibly eat that forever and every, if i only had one thing to eat for the rest of my life that would be it!

So anyway I am back in the UK.. Not loving that but nevermind eh? Back at work now (skiving just to write this blog! oooo-er). Not feeling fantastic at the moment for some reason i feel a bit Meh! not sure why. Think its time for me to go home and get some sleep.. well after i finish at 3pm i shall be doing. I think i've missed out on too much sleep. Been a fab holiday and i'm even looking at going again!

I weighed myself before i came to work this morning and according to the scales i've lost another 1 1/2lb. Lets just hope this is the case which only takes me 4-5lb away from going down to the next stone section - and that would be great!

Im off on my holiday! :)

Ive been ignoring my whole blogger havent i... oops! Well ive been too busy with the whole excitement of knowing i am off to Rome at 7am tomorrow!! Not got that long to go, and i got some pretty dresses to take with me and my camera ready. I cant wait - im proper excited! It'll be a fab holiday i'll post some pics when i get back! Im that excited i may pee myself... lol

Were staying near the vatican city at Trianon Borgo Pio? i think. Its a residence so its like a mini flat for our holiday which is pretty awesome, Its literally a 5minute walk from the vatican and also a 5 min walk from the restaurant me and grahame are going to! This is what the hotel looks like below! Lets hope it is really like that! lol..

Were off to the vatican on the very first day, that'll be cool. Ive been watching angels and demons so i feel like im clued up on it all (haha) but yes back to the real world.. it shall be cool to see all of the sights. Cant wait!

So Back to the weightloss - For starters!! Ive lost 1lb which takes me to my total of 50lb lost! so thats quite an achievement to me :) secondly my brother has joined the gym. This is good motivation.. plus i get a lift in his car to the gym too so i save on petrol. Thirdly.. I can now fit into size 18 without it being too tight. I know this because my dress for Rome is a size 18 summer dress.. fair enough its a little elasticated around the waist but i couldnt get into anything like that a year ago.

I also went for my nurse uniform trying on session... this was a disaster - not only did i have to get changed in a room with a group of literally size 6 and size 8 girls i also had the woman saying to me "its borderline tight"... so ya know ive just lost 50lb and still being told i need a size 24 in a nursing dress and top... me no understand. How can i be a size 18/20 in a normal top then go up 2 sizes in nursing... she stuck me in size 26 trousers!! with elastic! and the jeans ive got on are size 20... how does this work! lol but still i got my uniform sorted.. well not the trousers - refused to order them just now. I start on September 27th and im leaving Premier Inn on 12th September and right now im on holiday so not back til 23rd August.. so not long left at all! Bring on being a nurse!

Shall see you all after my holiday :) adios! or should that be Ciao!

Cupcakes! again..

So in 5 1/2 weeks im going to be walking around Rome hopefully! Were booking it at the end of the this month. I need to get my ass into gear and try and lose at least half a stone by then! This will take me down towards the next stone and i'll be extremely happy if i can get there! Its a beautiful city i want to dress how i wanna dress, i wanna pose how i wanna pose without feeling self concious so yes.. KICK START ME! lol



So ive been making cupcakes and cookies today.. keeps my mind off things they look pretty good. I was good and only had 1 cupcake and 1 cookie... i made like 10 cupcakes and 40 cookies so thats good for me! i just ate all the strawberries instead :) nom nom nom! Yes they really are my cakes below... you can see from the burnt line around the top haha thats my baking for you..


Took a new picture of me yesterday in my corset, my waist is getting a shape its fab! But still a long long LONG way to go at least another 42lb for me to be happy with how much i weigh and the way i look!


Got work soon really really REALLY dont fancy going tonight. Boo!